The Beginning of Us

Quinn and I  have known each other forever. We both were dating someone serious through high school so the thought of dating each other never crossed our mind.  We both moved away briefly after graduating. Him to go to ABAC and me to Tallahassee.  When we moved back, I saw Quinn randomly when I went to rent movies (he worked at the local video store) but that was really about it. Until, a friend of ours had a party. We were both there with our own group of friends, but being from a small town means that those groups typically overlap.  Quinn and I spent a little while just catching up before he and his friends left.  It was a few weeks later when we saw each other again. His roomates were always having people over and I was always invited.  I don't think either one of us had any interest in each other to start with. We had both just gotten out of relationships and needed time to recover.  Anyway, we were always "just friends" hanging out.

One night, I met Quinn and our friends at Mellow Mushroom.  I told him that I was going to marry him one day. He said ok and that was that. Still no dating involved. We were both just kinda content with being there for each other through our breakups.  As time passed, we talked on the phone more and more. I used to put jigsaw puzzles together and we would talk while I worked on a puzzle. I was working on a puzzle of the twin towers when I invited him over to help me.  He started coming over more and more often to help me work on our puzzle. At the time, he was working in construction and all his construction buddies gave him a hard time about helping me with a puzzle. I had no idea about that until we were close to finishing our puzzle. He told me one day " I don't want to finish the puzzle" When I asked him why, he said because everybody at work teased him and said as soon as we finished the puzzle, I wouldn't need him around anymore. So, I looked at him and with all seriousness said "well, then let's not finish it."  That puzzle is hanging in our house now, still missing a piece.

So, we began dating after that. Sometime around May I think.  This relationship was different for the both of us. It was just so easy. Now, we definately hit some rough patches but for the most part it just seemed like we had always been a couple. We were each other's missing piece.  About 2 years after that puzzle wasn't finished, Quinn finally asked me to marry him.  We had been together so long, that I just knew every event that came and went would be "the day" Our anniversary, my graduation, anything.  I sorta thought he would ask when we went to the beach with my family, but thought it would be the last day so I could hurry home and tell my friends. NOPE. The very first day at the beach.  I knew he was acting weird, but couldn't figure out why.  So, when he asked me at Sunset at my favorite beach ever, I said YES! All I wanted to do was ask questions, when did he get the ring, did he pick it out, etc. All he wanted to do was relax. He was so nervous.  We went back to the room and told my parents (they already knew, of course), I called my best friend and then we waited to get home to tell everyone else. It was the best vacation ever.

I love my butt...

Ok, I wasn't going to post this one, but after sharing it with my bible study ladies, I thought you might enjoy it. Maybe get a good laugh, maybe relate to it a little.

My sister in law, Deaven sent me an email a while back with a link to a Girlfriends In God devotion. I have always struggled with my weight. And after having Levi, have tried very hard, with no success, to get my body back.  Weight issues almost always lead to body image issues, so it took me a while to want to take on this devotion. But I did, and it actually felt pretty good. And it made me cry. And smile. And realize that God made me in His image, and gave me a husband that thinks I am beautiful in spite of my flaws.

• I love my hair.  It feels so good to be brushed and it makes me feel like a girl when I fix it.
• I love my eyes. I can see my daddy in them.
• I love my nose. I think it's cute
• I love my mouth. There's a lot of money in this grill
• I love my ears. I can hear my kid's laugh.
• I love my neck. It keeps my head on straight :)
• I love my skin. It show's my heritage.
• I love my breasts. They have fed my boys.
• I love my arms. I can hug my husband.
• I love my hands. They are my livelihood.
• I love my fingers. I have them to interlace with my loves.
• I love my belly, stretch marks and all (welll, I am still working on this) It reminds me that I carried chidlren in my body.
• I love my butt. It fills out my pants. (and then some)
• I love my legs. They are strong.
• I love my feet. They take me where I need to go.
• I love my toes. I can pick things up with them.

So, there. I do love my body. The one my Creator made for me. I will probably always struggle  with my body image, but I will contine to pray that I can see myself as God sees me: wonderfully made in His likeness.

Swamp People

I have been dying to take Bennett to Okefenokee Swamp all year, but it seemed like we always had something going on. When we go see my parents, he loves riding on the golf cart to the pond and "gator hunting" so I knew he would like to see a lot of gators.  Finally, we had a weekend free and it just so happened to be mother's day weekend. I called my mom to see if she and daddy wanted to go with us. Always up for a road trip, she said sure and away we went.

It has been at least 15 years since either Quinn or I had been to the swamp, but it is exactly as I remembered it. Hot, lots of alligators, and even more bugs.  I do not enjoy any of those things. However, having an excited blonde hair boy to share it with made it so much more enjoyable.  As soon as we walked through the store into the "swamp," an alligator was there to welcome us in.  I've never really thought that I was scared of alligators but as this thing was making eye contact, it occured to me that if he darted toward us, one of us was a goner. So my perspective changed a bit-no alligators gonna eat my babies (or husband, or parents) So I decided it was a good time to tell Bennett all the rules- you know, never get too far away from us, don't lean over the railing, etc. The stuff that we hated hearing as kids. 


Bennett was mesmerized by all the alligators.  One thing I have learned about my boy is he DOES NOT get in a hurry. He was a week late entering this world, and hasn't gotten in a rush since.  It took about 15 minutes or so to walk 100 feet, but hey, why should we be in a hurry-nothing else to look at but more alligators. And turtles. And an otter. The otter was pretty cool, but also kinda sad. He was all alone in the cage and it made me feel bad for him.  Once we finally got done with the first board walk, we made our way to the nature show.  I have an extreme dislike for snakes and of course a nature show in the swamp is not complete without snakes.  Lucky for me, Bennett loves them. I am so glad that I have a tough, macho husband that can handle the snake stuff. Bennett touched everyone that came by while Levi and I watched from a distance.  Bennett was done with the show before it was over so we moved on. One day we are going to realize that we just take the stroller to wheel our stuff around. Bennett walks just about everywhere and between mama and me, Levi was carried the whole time. 

Our next stop was to see Ole Roy. He is a huge, stuffed alligator in a room all his own. I have pictures of me and John with Ole Roy when I was little, so it was really important to me to get some of my boys with him. As well as some of all of us. Quinn and Bennett did not see the importance, but humored me anyway.  Then on to the train. I thought the train would be a nice time to rest. Nope- it was in the sun, with no shade and bugs.  The driver/guide was great though.  He sounded and looked like he had just come off an episode of "Swamp People"  We got a kick out of listen him talk and say things like "tuurs" and "idee"   After we got done with our train "tuur", we headed down another boardwalk to enjoy more nature (aka :bugs)  My sweet little Bennett had to stop and pick up every leaf and stick and throw it back into the woods. Bless him- he gets that from his mama.  Once we got to the end of the boarwalk, we sat at a gazebo and enjoyed the breeze while I fed Levi and Bennett and Mama looked for fish. 

Finally, it was time to head home.  We were all worn out. But we were all smiling.  And we were all together.  I love those kind of days.

He's Growing Up

Five months can be measured in all sorts of ways. For my military wife friend, it's links across her kids room to show how long it will be before her husband comes home. For my pregnant sister in law, it's a picture of a baby bump and reassurance that she is over half way there. For me, it's written all over my little Levi.  It's not swaddling him anymore, but putting him in his bed and watching him roll around until he is comfortable.  It's playing "airplane" instead of hold his head steady. It's seeing him smile and laugh at his brother. It's all those things, and much more.

Three weeks ago, my baby starting eating cereal. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's one step closer to eating real food. I documented everything with Bennett, and I am determined to do my best to make just as big a deal for Levi.  I really wanted to wait until around 6 months to start any form of solids because of Bennett's allergies. But one thing I have learned from parenting is that what you want isn't always how it works.  Levi was showing signs for a couple of weeks: reaching for my spoon, watching us eat, etc but I just couldn't figure out a time that all of us could be together for this milestone.  We started it on April 17 and Bennett was the first one to put a spoon in his mouth. Levi didn't miss a drop-ate the entire bowl and probably would have eaten more if I let him. He was a pro.  And big brother did so good feeding him, patient and gentle. I loved watching both of them.  That first week, Levi got cereal every evening. Now he is getting it most mornings and most evenings. As long as he is happy with that, we will wait to introduce other solids. 

Today was another monumental day. Levi started daycare. Alisha, a good friend of mine since high school has been keeping him at our house since he was 6 weeks old (I only work 3 days a week). Let me tell you that was an answered prayer.  We had an awesome lady from church keep Bennett for the first year and would have loved to have done that with Levi but Alisha is expecting her own little one so she committed to 5 months.  It was so nice not having to get two kids ready to go to school, and knowing that someone was loving on MY baby all day long.  When I dropped Bennett off for his first day of school, I had to pull over I was crying so hard. I ended up cancelling my afternoon appoinments so I could go get him instead of Quinn picking him up. This time around, I knew what to do. I packed everything up last night, including a list of "helpful hints," labeled his bottles for what feeding they were to be given (they were all the same, but it made me feel better) and got up early enough to spend some time reading my Bible to help with the anxiety.  Now, I know he was going to be fine, I just wasn't sure I was going to be. 



When we got to school, Bennett was so excited to have Levi with him. I took him with me to Levi's room so he would know where his little brother was going to be, let him tell Levi bye and then got Bennett settled in.  Back to Levi's room I went. With my list of hints and camera, I am sure that they ladies thought I was crazy. I rambled on and put off leaving for as long as I could. I told them I would be back by two to get him.  When I left, he was in an exersaucer playing and laughing.  I got in my car, and cried.  Not bawled like before, but still cried.  All day I thought about calling but I managed to wait it out. When I went to pick him up, he was asleep and they told me that he acted like a pro. Didn't fuss at all- had fun looking at himself in the mirror most of the day:)  Bennett was so excited to have spent the day at school with his little brother, eventhough they didn't even see each other. When I asked Bennett what he thought about Levi sharing his school he looked at me, smiled and said "He's growing up mommy"

Yes he is son.  Yes he is. 

Easter

I love Easter. The cute clothes, the spring decorations, and the Easter Candy.  Of course, I love it for the biggest reason, the Resurrection of my Savior. It is my favorite holiday and I am really enjoying now that I have children. I have so much fun putting together their Easter baskets (we don't really do the whole Easter Bunny thing, but do give them baskets) This year was no exception. I shopped for all kinds of little things to fill the baskets and make my little ones smile.  Shopping for Bennett is hard only because I have to make myself stop. Anything that I think he will like, I want to buy. But, as a family on a budget, I have to control myself.  Levi was easy to buy for because he has no idea what Easter is about. We were a little more unorgainized this year, and boy could I feel it!

When Bennett and Levi woke up, we gave them their Easter baskets. It was so much fun watching Bennett get excited about what was in his and helping Levi get his goodies out.  Mistake number one on my part was not waiting until after church for the basket.  It took us forever to get Bennett to put away his bubbles and stamps so we could head to church.

 Church was packed!! Quinn had to drop me and the kids off at the door to find somewhere to park.  After getting the boys settled into their rooms, I found Quinn who had been recruited to usher. So, in I went. The worship was amazing.  The service was great, as usual. It took us a while to get out of the building because of the crowd. This is when the chaos really began. My shoe broke while I ran into the house to get everything we needed to take to Quinn's parents.  (I forgot the eggs and had to run back in later) Bennett forgot his bunny at church so we had to go back by there- I went in barefoot while Quinn fixed my shoe. Then we had to make a quick Wal-Mart trip for some last minute items.  I fed Levi while Quinn and Bennett went in.  Finally, we had everything we needed to go to our parents house.

Every year, for as long as I can remember, my daddy and I have shared a very special Easter tradition. When I was younger, he and I would go and pick Easter lillies on the side of the road to put on his parent's grave. Mama stayed home and cooked so it was just our time. I never knew my grandparents, so I loved him telling me stories about them.  Last year, Bennett started joining us. It was so special for me to be able to pass this along to my son, as I know one day we will be doing the same tradtion.  Well, because I didn't have it together this year, we didn't have time to go by there before we needed to be at the Hadsock's for lunch.  I was so sad, but my dad understood. We went over there later in the week and were able to continue our tradition-bringing Quinn and Levi along with us.

We went to Quinn's parents for lunch and egg hunting. Bennett just loves his cousin Jaxon, so we couldn't get him to eat anything!   They ran around playing the whole time. Deaven and Stewart  (and Deaven's baby bump, Tal) were home from Canton, so it was great getting to spend time with them and talk "baby."  Nicole, Dustin's girlfriend, joined in on the baby convo, even though she doesn't know what baby H is yet. I don't know what it is about women, get us together and all we can talk about is pregnancy, babies to come, and and the babies we have. I also got to meet baby Talmadge, Quinn's cousin Paul's 4th child, but first son.  Man how quickly you forget how small they are.

Anyway, onto the good stuff. Bennett could not wait to hunt Easter Eggs.  He is just learning to play hide and seek and thinks it's the best game ever (he usually hides and then comes out of hiding to scare me) The guys went and hid tons of eggs while we kept the kids occupied inside.  Once all the eggs were hidden, we took the kids to the porch for the traditional picture and rules of the hunt.  And then it was ON!! Bennett is such a sweetie that he found eggs and put them in other people's baskets. He liked finding them, but he wanted all the leaves off them, and had to put them in his basket just so.  He also, didn't get the urgency of finding an egg, and then running to find another. He wanted to savor the egg he just found, not worried to much about finding another.  I took that as a lesson for me.  Why on earth do we have to rush through something good just to do something else? Who care how many eggs you have at the end of the hunt? As long as you enjoyed finding the ones you have, the amount shouldn't matter.

After the hunt, it was time to wrap the day up.  We cleaned up, packed up, and headed home. Both boys were asleep before we got out of the driveway. What a fun day!

Good Bye Gymnastics...

We started taking parent/child gymnastics classes in the fall of 2009. Bennett was just over a year and didn't show much interest in it. I, too, was a little concerned. I thought the class would be a great way for me to meet moms with kids around the same age as Bennett, and an outlet for some of his energy.

When I left that first class, I sat in my car and cried. All the moms already knew each other and didn't even introduce themselves to me. And Bennett was not loving it. He had a meltdown about 1/2 through the class. I called my friend, Mary, and told her all about it.  She assured me that both situations were normal, and we would both find our place soon enough. So, I didn't give up. The next week, I was so anxious but Bennett did a little better. He hated the pit- a pit full of foam squares that is most kid's dream (kinda like a ball pit, but softer) I made some of the ladies talk to me, and I actually liked them once I got to know them.  But he loved getting stamps, and the bubbles at the end were his favorite.  I'd have to watch him to be sure he didn't knock the other kids down.

Fast forward almost 2 years.  We have kinda made the gym a home. Every Tuesday, excluding the summer, Bennett had a date with the trampoline. I went until I was 38 weeks pregnant, (Levi was born at 39) and took December off since they were only open 2 weeks.  I had planned on leaving Levi with my mom and making that time just about Bennett and me. But there was no way that I was going to get Bennet to go without his new baby brother. So, I "wore" Levi while I chased Bennett around the gym.  We tackled the bars, balanced on the beam, jumped on the tramp, and yes, even dove into the pit.  As Levi got older, the instructor Mary got her baby fix with Levi while I played with my big boy. I really looked forward to that time with him.  After class, I would usually take Bennett to lunch-his choice. We ate a lot of Chik Fila and even more hot dogs. 

Today was our very last clas Mary will be moving soon, so she is no longer teaching. Also Bennett will be 3 in June. He will then go to preschool classes, ones that I cannot go onto the floor with him. We may continue with those classes, but I am not sure how he will do without me (or how I will do without him) Once again, I wanted to share today with just him, but he wanted Levi to go.  He enjoyed showing  Levi how to do all the elements. It has been so fun to watch him go from that shy, scared blonde baby to a little boy who thinks he owns the place.  I am so glad to have had the opportunity to share this expererience with him. And eventhough I know he probably won't remember it, I will cherish the memories enough for the both of us. 

So, now I look forward. To karate, and little league, and whatever else this little guy wants to throw my way.

Loving Jesus- a poem

I found this one night looking around the internet and just loved it.  The link is at the bottom. There's lots of good stuff on it.

I  started my day early,

Before the room was light.

I lifted my son from his crib

And wished it was still night.

But as I held him close and said,

"Hi, Kenneth, precious one,"

I knew that as I greeted him,

I greeted too God's Son.

When my daughter woke up later,

Calling, "Mommy!  Mommy!  Down!"

I picked her up and hugged her

In her worn Elmo nightgown.

I know she felt the closeness

That a mother's touch affords.

I welcomed not just Ellie,

But so, too, the Lord of Lords.

That day, I mixed some formula

And opened jars of peas.

I fixed some "pizza butter" bread

When she grinned and said, "Pleeeeease."

I heated up some leftovers;

I had to nuke them twice.

And when I fed my children,

I was feeding Jesus Christ.

I made some funny faces,

And "played puzzles" on the floor.

I dressed kitties, ran around outside,

And played with them some more.

We laughed and jumped and tickled,

Making memories to be stored.

When I spent time with my children,

I spent time with my Lord.

I wiped up sticky cereal

And washed the dishes clean.

I straightened, picked up, put away,

And dusted in between.

I did six loads of laundry

And folded it like new.

When I cleaned for my children,

I cleaned for my Savior, too.

When my children were both crying,

I held them in my arms.

I cuddled them and whispered

That I'd keep them safe from harm.

I told them how their Father saved them

With His perfect Lamb.

When I comforted my children,

I comforted I AM.

Later on that evening,

I put them in the bath.

I washed their little bodies

As they kicked around and splashed.

I dried them in soft towels

And put their jammies on.

When I had washed my children's feet,

I'd washed the Holy One.

I cooked and cleaned and rearranged,

Made beds and taught and played.

I made sure that we had food to eat

And that we often prayed.

I died to self.  I made a home

From ordinary things.

But when I served my children,

I served the King of Kings.

To some, I have done nothing,

But to two, I've done the world.

I made eternal difference

To my precious boy and girl,

And to the One who watches over

Every pathway that I've trod.

For when I've loved my precious children,

I've loved Almighty God.

 - Megan Breedlove (www.MannaForMoms.com)