Good Bye Gymnastics...

We started taking parent/child gymnastics classes in the fall of 2009. Bennett was just over a year and didn't show much interest in it. I, too, was a little concerned. I thought the class would be a great way for me to meet moms with kids around the same age as Bennett, and an outlet for some of his energy.

When I left that first class, I sat in my car and cried. All the moms already knew each other and didn't even introduce themselves to me. And Bennett was not loving it. He had a meltdown about 1/2 through the class. I called my friend, Mary, and told her all about it.  She assured me that both situations were normal, and we would both find our place soon enough. So, I didn't give up. The next week, I was so anxious but Bennett did a little better. He hated the pit- a pit full of foam squares that is most kid's dream (kinda like a ball pit, but softer) I made some of the ladies talk to me, and I actually liked them once I got to know them.  But he loved getting stamps, and the bubbles at the end were his favorite.  I'd have to watch him to be sure he didn't knock the other kids down.

Fast forward almost 2 years.  We have kinda made the gym a home. Every Tuesday, excluding the summer, Bennett had a date with the trampoline. I went until I was 38 weeks pregnant, (Levi was born at 39) and took December off since they were only open 2 weeks.  I had planned on leaving Levi with my mom and making that time just about Bennett and me. But there was no way that I was going to get Bennet to go without his new baby brother. So, I "wore" Levi while I chased Bennett around the gym.  We tackled the bars, balanced on the beam, jumped on the tramp, and yes, even dove into the pit.  As Levi got older, the instructor Mary got her baby fix with Levi while I played with my big boy. I really looked forward to that time with him.  After class, I would usually take Bennett to lunch-his choice. We ate a lot of Chik Fila and even more hot dogs. 

Today was our very last clas Mary will be moving soon, so she is no longer teaching. Also Bennett will be 3 in June. He will then go to preschool classes, ones that I cannot go onto the floor with him. We may continue with those classes, but I am not sure how he will do without me (or how I will do without him) Once again, I wanted to share today with just him, but he wanted Levi to go.  He enjoyed showing  Levi how to do all the elements. It has been so fun to watch him go from that shy, scared blonde baby to a little boy who thinks he owns the place.  I am so glad to have had the opportunity to share this expererience with him. And eventhough I know he probably won't remember it, I will cherish the memories enough for the both of us. 

So, now I look forward. To karate, and little league, and whatever else this little guy wants to throw my way.

Loving Jesus- a poem

I found this one night looking around the internet and just loved it.  The link is at the bottom. There's lots of good stuff on it.

I  started my day early,

Before the room was light.

I lifted my son from his crib

And wished it was still night.

But as I held him close and said,

"Hi, Kenneth, precious one,"

I knew that as I greeted him,

I greeted too God's Son.

When my daughter woke up later,

Calling, "Mommy!  Mommy!  Down!"

I picked her up and hugged her

In her worn Elmo nightgown.

I know she felt the closeness

That a mother's touch affords.

I welcomed not just Ellie,

But so, too, the Lord of Lords.

That day, I mixed some formula

And opened jars of peas.

I fixed some "pizza butter" bread

When she grinned and said, "Pleeeeease."

I heated up some leftovers;

I had to nuke them twice.

And when I fed my children,

I was feeding Jesus Christ.

I made some funny faces,

And "played puzzles" on the floor.

I dressed kitties, ran around outside,

And played with them some more.

We laughed and jumped and tickled,

Making memories to be stored.

When I spent time with my children,

I spent time with my Lord.

I wiped up sticky cereal

And washed the dishes clean.

I straightened, picked up, put away,

And dusted in between.

I did six loads of laundry

And folded it like new.

When I cleaned for my children,

I cleaned for my Savior, too.

When my children were both crying,

I held them in my arms.

I cuddled them and whispered

That I'd keep them safe from harm.

I told them how their Father saved them

With His perfect Lamb.

When I comforted my children,

I comforted I AM.

Later on that evening,

I put them in the bath.

I washed their little bodies

As they kicked around and splashed.

I dried them in soft towels

And put their jammies on.

When I had washed my children's feet,

I'd washed the Holy One.

I cooked and cleaned and rearranged,

Made beds and taught and played.

I made sure that we had food to eat

And that we often prayed.

I died to self.  I made a home

From ordinary things.

But when I served my children,

I served the King of Kings.

To some, I have done nothing,

But to two, I've done the world.

I made eternal difference

To my precious boy and girl,

And to the One who watches over

Every pathway that I've trod.

For when I've loved my precious children,

I've loved Almighty God.

 - Megan Breedlove (www.MannaForMoms.com)

Perfectly Imperfect

I am in slap dab in the middle of a bible study call Victoriously Frazzled. Let me tell you that this thing could have been written for me and/or about me.  With a husband that works long hours and is in graduate school, two boys under 3, family that expects to see us regularly (and rightfully so), and church I stay frazzled.  Anyway, last week I spent a lot of time dealing with my inner, and outer, control freak. This led me to think about why I feel the need to be in control of everything. Some of it is pressure from the outside, but a lot of it comes from within.

The desire to be perfect is something I have always possesed.  When I was in 1st grade and got the chicken pox, I was devastated that mama wouldn't let me go to school so I could keep my perfect attendence. I strived to get good grades- the perfect score on everything, to the point of obssessing and giving myself hives. I want to be the perfect friend, the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect housekeeper,  the perfect career woman. Every aspect of my life, I strive to be perfect.  But at what expense? Am I missing out on the blessings I am getting because I think if I do it better, I will get "bigger" blessing. Not that I think trying to be perfect is always a bad thing, but I do think it gets in the way of being what God intends for me to be- a beautiful mess:) So, my new task for myself is to accept myself as perfectly imperfect.

I may never have the perfectly clean house, but it is filled with laughter.
I may go through the drive through instead of cooking a night or two, but my kids will still be fed.
I may put my children to bed without a bath, but never without a hug and an "I love you"
I may lose my patients with people (friends, family, strangers) but I will continue to pray about the way I handle it.
I may get frazzled with my husband but I will never forget how much he does for our family.
I may never be the size I "want" to be but I can and will strive to be the healthiest me possible.

my boys

No blog with this title would be complete without a little more information about who it was named for. So, I have decided to give you a little summary about the men in my life. I am sure you will find out more about them as time comes, but here is a little peek:

I met Quinn in kindergarten. I don't really remember meeting him, just remember him always being there. He was the quiet kid in elementary school. In middle school, our classes seeme to be opposite, but because our school was so small, we knew everybody. In high school, he was "Sarah's boyfriend"  We had some classes together, and even went to prom, but neither one of us was really interested in dating each other. We both moved away to college for a while, ran into each other several years later and became friends. Again, no interest in dating (eventhough I told him I was going to marry him one day.)  Three years after running into each other, we got married. It was a perfect day. I can tell you that I loved him more than anything that day, but as I watch him with our boys, I love him even more today.  He is my best friend- the one I call a million times a day to tell him every little thing. He is my support. He works hard so I can be home with Bennett and Levi as much as possible. He wants to better himself-as a father, as a husband, as a teacher, and as a man of God.  He makes me laugh. He always sings the wrong words to a song and know every Heisman trophy winner in order. He procrastinates and it drives me crazy, but he always gets it done and gets it done well. I hope our boys grow up to be just like their daddy.

LCHS prom 1998

Georgia vs. Auburn 2007

Bennett came along almost exactly 2 years after we got married, the day before to be exact.  A week late, he still has a mind of his own.  When they put that 10 pound baby on my chest, I knew I would never be the same. In 2 1/2 years, I have fallen more and more in love with that kid. He is super smart, too smart sometimes. But what is the most amazing thing about Bennett is his kindness. He is the sweetest child I have ever seen.  He cares about other kids; wants to help out whenever he can.  A lady at his daycare gave the best compliiment I think he will ever get.  She said " I think that that's how Jesus was when he was a little boy"  He never meets a stranger (no idea where he got that from)  He loves to be outside, hates loud noises, and would eat candy all day long. I am convinced he is going to be a veternarian when he is older because he is obsessed with animals, both real and plastic.  He is a perfectionist (again, no idea) but loves to make a mess. He likes to read, especially his 'bible study'. He is so fun and I am so glad God let me be his mama.

trying to fill daddy's shoes

Just over 4 months ago, we were blessed with the arrival of Levi.  As soon as he got here, we knew this little guy was not like his brother. Even from the delivery, they were different.  Levi proved to be a handful in the first couple of month, only wanting to sleep when I was holding him.  The recliner was the best purchase during that time.  I am pretty sure he is going to be our clown-always laughing and smiling.  He doesn't like to take naps, too busy to sleep. He loves TV- already watches it more than Bennett does.  He seems to be a pretty go with the flow kind of kid.  We take him everywhere, strap him in the sling and he just goes with it.  He's even already been down an inflatable slide.  He wants to crawl so bad he can't stand it.  Thankfully, he is a night sleeper. I am so excited to learn more and more about him as he gets older.

just checking things out

Of course, I have Peanut (the cat) as well. Not much to say about him. He's super fat, super lazy and super funny. 

he just had a haircut

So, that's my sweet boys.   I can't imagine life without them.

Death, where is your sting?

My granddaddy died when I was four years old. It was my first experience with death, and even at that young of an age it made a pretty big impression. I don't remember a whole lot about the time I had with him- I remember what he smelled like (he smoked a pipe) and I remember riding in his old truck to the creek. But I do remember that funeral. I remember standing on the thing that hold the casket to peek inside to see him. I remember all the flowers, and the way they smelled. I remember seeing him lay there and even at four years old I knew that that was not my papa. 

Now, I am an adult, and death has become more a part of my life than I would like. And every death affects me differently, as it does for most people I am sure. Some hit close to home- family members that die of old age or from illness. Others touch us for different reasons, like the young boy that reminded us that time is all we have and not to waste one second.  Sometimes it reminds us not to take what we have for granted and sometimes we can use it as a warning that no one is invinsible.

Last night, I got an email from Katie, a girl in our life group that said "that I tell you , Brian just heard, Welcome home my good and faithful servant"  What amazing words. I have heard them many times, and know that one day I will hear the Almighty say them to me, but I have never considered my husband, the father of my children hearing them.  Brian and Katie, along with their sweet children, started our life group several months ago.  I am sad to say that I do not know them as well as I should. I love them and have always thought that they were neat people but chasing babies seemed to get in the way for all of us. I do know that I feel like our life group was better for having them in it. Brian and Katie both led such a God filled life and I learned a lot about parenting just by watching them.  About 3 weeks ago, Brian sat in the circle of close friends, gasping with every breath. Even then, he and Katie did not falter. Their prayer requests were expectant and to the point. No pity party from the Reagans.  The very next day, their journey took a very scary turn.  For this past days, I have prayed harder, seen more of God, and been inspired by Brian and Katie in ways they will never imagine.

In speaking to Katie about her strength, she said "I have my moments" Who wouldn't?  But her faith never faltered. She dealt with what God had given her and shielded her children as much as possible. Instead of focusing on her fear, and sorrow, she focuses on Brian's rejoicing. I am inspired to be more like Katie-as a wife, as a mom, and as a woman of God. I am so thankful that the Reagan's allowed me to be a part of this journey with them and hope to continue to see how God uses Katie, McClean, Ansley, and yes- his angel Brian.

A Very Wild Adventure

Today is a special day.  My mama, the woman who I hope to be like, had a birthday.  It was a pretty significant one too (I won't tell you her age-you know the rules) but I have been asking her for months what she wanted to do. I offered a party, a dinner, a vacation-anything she wanted. Well, my mother is not much on planning anything these days and all she kept telling me was that she wanted to spend it with her grandkids (she has 10) Then she got sick, nothing major, but enough to make her not feel like doing too much of anything. She never nailed down any plans, but called today saying she felt better and wanted to go to Wild Adventures. My siblings all had plans due to her last minute decision, so the four of us packed it up and headed to Wild Adventures for our first trip of the season.

We got there first, and headed on in, waiting right inside the gate for my parents. Bennett was so excited when he saw MiMi and ran to her yelling "Happy Birthday" It was the cutest thing, and captured on camera by the WA crew. We didn't get to buy the photo like I had intended, but more on that later. Levi was sleeping in the stroller so mama just got a quick peek at him.  With the gang all together, we started on our funfilled day. Now, I must tell you the we knew the day wouldn't last to long because it just felt like it was going to rain. But we decided to do as much as we could before we got wet. We hit up the train/truck/bumblebee rides first. Bennett just loves Peanut the turtle. He was able to touch him once before and has talked about him every since.  Next up was the carosel. I think he ended up riding that twice, never letting MiMi get to far away. We could feel the weather changing and decided to head over to the safari train and try to see the animals before our trip was over. Sadly, the train was shut down due to lightening. When the first drops hit, we knew we couldn't make it back to the car without getting wet. Quinn took out his phone and checked the weather. The rain should pass quickly, so we headed under the giraffe shelter to wait it out.

  The giraffe was just kinda hanging out in the rain, the monkey was putting on an entertaining show for all of us stuck under the shelter. It was really nice to just slow down and enjoy a little nature for a while. That is, until the giraffe went and hid in his house, the rain turned to hail, and it started raining sideways!  Wow. For a split second, we all thought it was a tornado and I have to admit we were all a little scared. Well, except for the boys. Bennett was asleep and Levi was enjoying being held.  As quickly as it came, the storm passed over us. The giraffe came out of hiding and came right up to the fence, as if to tell us "it's safe now"  What a God moment for me. If God will equip an animal with the knowledge to flee from danger, surely he has done the same for us. We just have to listen and know when to get out of the storm.