Perfectly Imperfect

I am in slap dab in the middle of a bible study call Victoriously Frazzled. Let me tell you that this thing could have been written for me and/or about me.  With a husband that works long hours and is in graduate school, two boys under 3, family that expects to see us regularly (and rightfully so), and church I stay frazzled.  Anyway, last week I spent a lot of time dealing with my inner, and outer, control freak. This led me to think about why I feel the need to be in control of everything. Some of it is pressure from the outside, but a lot of it comes from within.

The desire to be perfect is something I have always possesed.  When I was in 1st grade and got the chicken pox, I was devastated that mama wouldn't let me go to school so I could keep my perfect attendence. I strived to get good grades- the perfect score on everything, to the point of obssessing and giving myself hives. I want to be the perfect friend, the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect housekeeper,  the perfect career woman. Every aspect of my life, I strive to be perfect.  But at what expense? Am I missing out on the blessings I am getting because I think if I do it better, I will get "bigger" blessing. Not that I think trying to be perfect is always a bad thing, but I do think it gets in the way of being what God intends for me to be- a beautiful mess:) So, my new task for myself is to accept myself as perfectly imperfect.

I may never have the perfectly clean house, but it is filled with laughter.
I may go through the drive through instead of cooking a night or two, but my kids will still be fed.
I may put my children to bed without a bath, but never without a hug and an "I love you"
I may lose my patients with people (friends, family, strangers) but I will continue to pray about the way I handle it.
I may get frazzled with my husband but I will never forget how much he does for our family.
I may never be the size I "want" to be but I can and will strive to be the healthiest me possible.